Saturday, May 25, 2013
Follow your heart. Why? Because you learn from books, from people, from habits. Your heart is your uniqueness. Your head has all the answers, but the answers were made by others. Only follow your head when you have learned to put your heart in learning. And when you combine your thoughts, with feelings.
Smile at adversity. Dream to keep your heart beating. Love to help keep others' hearts beating. Drown in knowledge. Starve in hate. Cry to let go. Scream to free your soul. Teach those who are lost. Accept when you are lost. Live with high standards. And save your time for the things worth it.
Childhood, it's all about learning especially to dream sanely. Teenagers, it's all about building memories. Young adults? All about sorting out your future. Adults? All about making your home a stable one. Once it hurts to even lay down, that's the time to dream you're young again, time to look back at those memories, time to notice how your future turned out, time to smile at the beautiful home you created.
Times change. People too. Time to accept that, but a hole is a hole even when people leave and change, there's no changing that. So make sure it's worth drilling the welcome home sign to your heart for that other person. There's only so much room in one's heart. Don't waste it.
There's only so many words one can say. A writer, no matter how talented, profound and articulate, sometimes is left with no words to say. There are situations that leave broken bonds, recently-mended bonds, and stronger-than-ever bonds crying in a perfect unison of disbelief, desperation, and denial. A life, no matter how fully lived, leaves a hole when it's gone, and nobody can fill it up. The broken bonds, remain with the "why?" thoughts, the recently mended bonds remain with the "could-have-been" thoughts, the strong bonds remain with the "what if" thoughts and nothing is resolved, even if it really was. Because no matter how many things were resolved or unresolved, once the person's gone, everything feels unexplained. A person, no matter how caring is sometimes left with no one to hug. A person no matter how sentimental is sometimes left with no tear to drop, not because they run out, the tears don't come because you don't have them. There is no way of crying because you can't. While everyone else can. While everyone else sits around crying because it's so tragic, you sit there, just there, nonexistent, non-important, useless against nature, and not even a tear to spare. Till someone comes along and loosens the knot around your heart, makes you notice it's okay to cry when you most should, but those things come with love and patience. Until then, I'll just sit around with no words to say for the knot in my heart took over, no one to hug because I can't even look at myself without wondering what is wrong, and no tear to shed because there has never been tears in the most necessary moments, and it has always been like that.
I want you to hold me, and make me feel like nothing can harm me. I want to look at the stars by your side. I want you to say "I love you" so I can say it back. I want you to tell me everything is alright even though it isn't. I want to feel protected. I want to fall asleep by your side, in your arms, with your warmth. I want you to sing to me even if you can't sing, cause what matters to me is how much you love me, no matter how you show it. The problem is, I'm that type of girl who never gets the chance.
I don't wish to be the "pretty girl". I want to be the loved one. I want to be the one that can be a fool and not care if they are being judged because they know there's one person that will never do. Those girls who cry and have arms to comfort her. Who scream and have ears to hear her. Who write and have eyes to read her dreams